That’s what Kambili’s husband shouted one night after she gave birth to their third baby girl. His mother added her voice too:
“Back in my day, we knew how to give birth to strong sons. These modern women? All sugar, no salt!”
Sounds familiar?
If you’re Nigerian, you’ve probably heard stories like this or witnessed them. For decades, women have been blamed, shamed, and even abandoned for “failing” to give birth to boys.
But here’s a big 2025 reminder backed by science:
Dear men, you determine the sex of the baby. Yes, you!
Before you shout at me that I’m attacking men, let me explain…
Every human being has 46 chromosomes, which are like tiny instruction books that tell your body how to form and function. Two of those chromosomes called sex chromosomes determine if you’re male (XY) or female (XX).
Stay with me…
Women can only pass on an X chromosome (because they have XX).
Men carry both X and Y chromosomes (XY), so they can pass on either.
What this means is that
If the sperm carries X, the egg is already carrying X so the baby’s sex will be XX (girl) and then if the sperm carries Y, the egg is already carrying X so the baby’s sex will be XY (boy).
So, whether the baby is a boy or girl depends 100% on which chromosome the man’s sperm brings to the egg.
It’s not her fault.
It’s not the soup she ate.
It’s not because she “talks too much.”
It’s not because she’s not “strong.”
“But why do women still get blamed in this age and time?”
Let’s be honest. In many African countries, a woman’s value is still tied to how many sons she produces. Men abandon, mistreat, or even divorce their wives when they don’t get a male child without realising the gender is literally up to them.
So if you know someone that still thinks otherwise, it’s no longer my duty to tell them but yours. Ignorance is not an excuse, at least not yours.
So the next time someone says:
“She gave him only girls.”
You can reply with:
“Well, it was his sperm that chose.”
But be respectful about it, you know people can be angry at that time.
