Inside the Consulting Room: My beautiful daughter’s life has been destroyed

By Adewumi Adesida
This is a true life story I beseech all mothers to read. Mrs. Ojo (real names withheld) gave me the permission to share the story of her eight years old daughter.
I was the doctor on call that Saturday morning when I saw Mrs Ojo, her eight years old daughter, a policeman and an NYSC Corp member in handcuff. They came to our emergency unit. My diagnostic thinking ability got to work immediately. The question in my curious mind was what could connect these 4 people together?
I had a possible working diagnosis in my mind but I couldn’t wait to listen to the story behind it, check the patient, make definitive diagnosis and possibly treat the patient. With police on board, I would have to develop investigative acumen and evidence gathering ability this morning.
Mrs. Ojo was crying and wailing uncontrollably. She was so restless. “Doc…torrrrr, see how the life of my beautiful daughter has been destroyed ” she kept crying inconsolably. I calmed her down several times.
After several minutes of empathy and consolation she finally calmed down a little. I needed to calm her down completely first or else I wouldn’t be able to actually do the needful. I asked her to tell me everything that happened. It was one of the most pathetic and sorrowful stories I had heard in life.
She began “Doctor, you see this wicked boy (pointing to the corp member), he has destroyed my daughter’s life. I am the landlady in the house where his fellow corp member rented, and he usually comes to my house to greet his friend,the other corp member. He will greet me very well and respectfully and play with my daughter. Sometimes, he will even bring sweet and doughnut for her. Doctor, i did not know that all his ploy was to destroy my daughter’ s life”.
Sobbing loudly, she continued, “This morning as i wanted to bathe my daughter i saw that she was not allowing me to touch her private part. Any attempt to touch her there, she would pull back in pain. Then I forced her legs open, doctor, see terrible wound and tears under my beautiful daughter, Doctor”. She wailed loudly again, and I allowed be until she was ready to continue.
At this juncture, tears had filled my eyes but as a professional, I had to be professional. I held back my tears. I encouraged her to continue her story.
She said she asked her what happened to her. She refused to talk until she beat her up.
She confessed that it was this wicked man (pointing to the corper in handcuff again) that forcefully had sex with her the previous evening and threatened her that she would die if she ever opened her mouth to tell a soul especially her mother.
She wept the more as she relieved the memory in anguish. After getting all the information from her daughter, she went to the police station then got the culprit arrested and she was advised by the police to let her be taken to hospital first for treatment and for evidence for prosecution of the culprit.
I was almost getting depressed as I sighed looking at the innocent little girl but like I said again, I am a professional, I had to be in charge here. I took a quick history from the corp member, too, asking him why he indulged in the shameful act.
I asked him “Out of so many corp members like you everywhere, you could not have a relationship with an adult like you?. What could have prompted you to condescend so low to this level of raping an eight year old girl”. I guessed he had already been beaten to submission by the police because the reason he gave why he did what he did that he told me shocked me to my bone marrow. It was then I understood the inconsolable wailing of Mrs Ojo.
He responded remorsefully to my question ” Doctor, I am sorry it was the devil, I was told by one traditional healer to look for a small girl who is still a virgin to sleep with that I will be cured of my HIV”.
I went into psychological shock instantly. I didn’t know when I said to him, “you are a wicked devil”. You know when your pain gets too much you lose it and can’t control your utterances anymore.
“So you actually raped this girl to transfer your HIV to her so that you can be cured?” I angrily asked like I should add to the beating he may have got from the police but time was of essence here. Time was not on my side. Treatment of this type of case had everything to do with time. It happened an evening before, and that was almost 12 hours earlier.
I hurriedly did a quick examination with the chaperone. What I saw was gory. I wouldn’t want to talk about it and the culprit did not use condom and there was history of release of semen. The girl’s private part was still bleeding inside. I quickly took blood of two of them to run tests to confirm their HIV status, the ‘corper’ was truly HIV positive, the girl was negative. I took all the other things I should take from the girl for more tests, to rule out other infections and to gather evidence for the prosecution of the culprit. I took photograph of all the necessary parts and the injuries. Then I called in our HIV desk officer for post exposure prophylaxis of HIV for the little girl and treated her prophylatically for other sexually transmitted infections and dressed the wound in her private part after thorough disinfection and irrigation. I refered her and her mother to see a psychiatrist for psychological therapy and support.
I counselled the mother to involve their pastor to support them with prayer and counselling. I also encouraged her to reduce talking about the case to their neighbours who were aware before they came to hospital. This was to reduce stigmatisation of the girl. I knew this was a case I would have to follow up for at least the next six months.
After this, the police took him away. I gave the woman an appointment to see me in one month or if there was any side effect of the drug intolerable for the girl or any complaint they could see me but they should be coming to see our nurses for wound dressing.
After one month, they came. She had completed her anti-HIV and other drugs. The wound had healed well after some follow up dressing. She was doing well and even smiling and playing. Gosh! Children would always be children. The mother was better now, psychologically, but still dying in fear of eventual outcome of the HIV test in three and six months time as I had explained to her. I counselled her again to be strong.
Two months, they came back for the three months’ HIV test. Guess the result? Guess please??….Negative. I was happier than the mother and the girl. I scheduled them for another test in 3 months to be doubly sure she was negative. They came back in 3 months again. Who says God is not good? Guess the result again? Negative. We were singing and praising God that day that we almost forgot we were in the hospital.
As for the prosecution of the case, the mother said they begged her and settled out of police station to avoid taking the case to court in order not to send the corp member to jail which would destroy his future. They paid her N400,000 for damages.
Well, I didn’t want to leave my area of jurisdiction to be involved with that because I would say I was a little bit disappointed about the way the case was handled, but my own greatest joy was my patient being HIV negative after six months of the rape.
After all the celebration that day before I finally discharged her, I needed to educate the mother and the girl to prevent this from happening again.
These were my education guides to them and may be to all of you parents out there reading this and these were the lessons I learnt from this gory story:
Number one lesson: parents be more careful about your children’s relationship with both adult family members and strangers of opposite sex. Be even much more careful with your girl-child or children relationship with opposite sex family member. Research has shown that most child sexual abuse is from family members more than strangers. The world out there is too hostile now to girl-child especially. We really live in a sick world.
Everyday, the case of child sexual abuse is on exponential increase.
Number two lesson: parents teach your children, if possible never to collect sweets and little-chops or anything whatsoever from adults of opposite sex, whether they are family members or strangers. This is how the familiarity usually start.
Number three lesson: parents, teach them to never follow anybody to any secret or lonely place or be in a room with an adult of opposite sex alone.
Number four lesson: parents, teach them about their private parts and tell them nobody must touch them there. If anybody tries to, they should run away or speak up against what the person is doing or shout if they can’t run away.
Lastly, tell them no matter who the person is that touches them in those private parts and no matter how much threat the person issues to them or no matter what the person offers them, they must tell you. If possible promise them what they like most as a reward if they tell you.
On the part of the HIV positive corps member who was told having sex with a virgin would cure you, it is a big, fat lie from the pit of hell. Sleep with and rape 100 million virgins, it cannot cure you of any HIV. The best for you is to take your drugs religiously, eat good food, have a good rest, be close to your doctor and have a positive mental attitude towards life. HIV is no longer a death sentence that should make you wicked to the point of raping or infecting innocent souls with the virus.
Once again, my joy is that, as against the fear of Mrs. Ojo that her daughter’s life had been destroyed, I am happy I was able to rescue her life physically, psychologically, spiritually and socially, at least to some extent.
▪ Dr. Adesida works in the Department of Family Medicine, Aminu Kano Teaching Hospital (AKTH) Kano, Nigeria.