Crushed Rocks: Sex and Fasting 1

By Tunde Oni.
As soon as I cleared out the dinner table, I went into the bedroom, not bothering to say goodnight to Kenny in the living room. I knew he was going to be coming to bed soon enough. I needed him to think I was fast asleep by the time he came to bed. I quickly got into the bathroom and had a quick shower before climbing into bed. I made sure I put on my long pyjamas so there was no way he could have easy access to my body. About an hour later when I heard him climb into bed and turn the other way, I finally let out the breath I was holding. I managed to escape the sex that night.
 
By the time I woke up the next morning, I knew we were going to have another round of noise and fight and I quickly said a silent prayer to God for strength. I could feel his hand roaming round my body relentlessly and there was no doubt in my mind what the expected end result will be. I opened my eyes and took a glimpse at the clock on the wall. It was just 6.am. I turned and removed his hands from my body and tried to get up only to be pulled back. By the third time of going through the same motion, he finally spoke up.
 
”Babe, what is the excuse today? It has been 2 weeks for Christ sake. How am I supposed to be happy if you won’t even have sex with me?” He said with obvious frustration in his voice.
 
”So your happiness is now tied to sex? You still don’t get it do you? I am doing this for us; for our home and our future. I told you before I started that this was going to happen and you agreed and now you want to make me feel guilty. Seriously, I am confused.”
 
”Omololami, you know I am not opposed to prayer and fasting. I love God too and I go to church but you cannot honestly expect me not to have sex for the next 100 days just because you want to fast”
 
I was so angry at that statement and I flared up,
 
”Seriously, Kenny, are you kidding me right now? What happened to self control? This just shows how far you have fallen from the faith. Is this not the same you that used to fast with me all the time before we got married? So, all that spirituality was a lie? Did we not court for two years without sex? So you must have been cheating on me. ”
 
”What? How can you say that? Are you crazy? How can you even compare both scenarios? I was single then, now I am married. Why did I get married if I can’t have sex?”
 
”Oh so now I am a sex machine? You married me for the sex?” I asked
 
”You know what, I won’t waste my time having this fruitless conversation with you. I am warning you for the last time. I won’t take this your fasting bullshit and you will learn to respect me in this house. If this is the rubbish they are teaching you in church, I will ban you from going there”
 
”You won’t dare Kehinde Ayorinde. You will not dare. If I ever have to choose between you and my God, trust me, you will loose. It is God first and you second. That devil that is trying to use you, will not find a place”.
 
”Try me, Lola, just try me” he said as he walked into the bathroom and slammed the door.
 
I walked out of the room and went into the kitchen heartbroken. As I went about making Kenny’s lunch that he usually takes to work I was so sad. I didn’t understand Kenny’s bitterness towards my relationship with God. I didn’t expect to have these kind of issues just 6 months after marriage. He knew how much I loved God and how much that relationship means to me and he was proving so difficult. We even talked about this while we were courting and he used to tell me how much he loved my passion for God. We have tried getting pregnant for the past 5 months and nothing had happened and I knew I needed to tackle it in prayer before 5 months turned to 15 years and I told him I decided to join the 100 days fast in church. Initially, he had agreed to join me but 3 days after he stopped. I didn’t get offended. I decided to do the prayers myself. I just did not expect him to be so bitter about it. As I finished packing his lunch about 30 minutes later, Kenny came out fully dressed and just walked past me without picking up his food as usual. I quickly ran after him and caught up with him just as he was getting into his car.
 
”You didn’t take your food” I said.
 
”Take that rubbish food and get out of my sight. I don’t want your food, now or ever until you learn to respect me and until you decide what is more important to you”, he said and slammed the door, driving away while I stood there mouth agape.
 
We had a lot of disagreements over sex in the last two weeks but I had never seen Kenny so bitter before. I knew there and then I needed to pray for my home – casting out every demon that suddenly had possessed my husband.