Dear Devaan,
My name is Tony. I am 32 years old, I have a B.Sc. in Business Management, MBA Management and I am self employed and single. I started dating my girlfriend in 2014. Early this year she suddenly stopped talking to me without a reason. I made many entreaties, tried to get to the bottom of the problem to no avail. I even traveled from Abuja to Lagos where she was serving but we couldn’t resolve the issue. Around August this year she came back begging and I took her back purely out of love.
A few weeks ago, I had a financial challenge. I stood as surety for someone who secured a loan of 350,000, to settle his father’s hospital bills. When it was time to pay up, the person (a distant relative of mine) was nowhere to be found so I was arrested in his stead. I told my girlfriend about it and she washed her hands off it because she said I should have informed her before helping my cousin.
I felt bad but I apologized to her.
It’s been about three weeks since this incident. She has again stopped talking to me.
I still love her but I seriously do not know what to do.
Devaan says…
Hmmm matters of the heart are quite complex Tony. Please do not be offended but if you have given me the full gist, this lady is a selfish person in my view.
Despite her opinion that you ought to have kept her in the loop of what was going on, abandoning you at a time when you needed her most should not have been her line of action if she genuinely loves you. These are the small give aways we should not ignore in relationships.
She started off by suddenly cutting off communication. In my view she was probably exploring another relationship at the time. When things didn’t work out she came running back and you accepted her out of love. That is good. I see nothing wrong with giving people second chances. However, this particular move of leaving you to sort yourself out with the police tells me the lady is a user.
If you decide to keep her in your life, prepare for more of such behavior. I would suggest you free her and open yourself up to the possibility of finding someone who appreciates you for who you are.
I wish you all the best brother.
