Good day Dee,
I hope my problem will not come off as petty. I just recently got married to the lady I considered the love of my life. We dated for about 5 years before finally tying the knot so I can say we knew each other well enough. How was I to know childbirth would turn her into an absentee wife?! I don’t mean she goes about o, but that baby takes up all her time and attention. Even squeezing a conversation out of her is a problem. Forever washing baby clothes, playing with him, running to him, I don’t know. I feel like a sperm donor. In fact things were a little better when my mum was around and helping out. The child is mine no doubt and I certainly love having him but is this how the rest of my married life will go?
Hi my friend,
You are not the first man to raise such issues and I do sympathise but as a mum myself I can testify that looking after a baby is tasking. Remember that we are talking about an entity who can’t lift his head without help. If the mum attempts giving both of you the same degree of attention, won’t she die of exhaustion? From the little information you gave, I gather there is no nanny or maid in the picture so in addition to cleaning, cooking, possibly going to the market and being your wife, she also has to be nanny. Haba! Have mercy. GET INVOLVED. Women are not robots. We get tired too. Pick that baby up as many times as she does, be the one to bring him to her in bed for feeding sometimes, change nappies too. Help around the house. You will discover that your wife’s time is freed up to give you the attention you crave. Your assistance will even bond all of you. Every now and then take him completely off her hands to let her sleep and get her strength back. It’s not rocket science. A little empathy works wonders in every marriage. Try this and see if you don’t notice a positive change.