Aunty Devaan, please help me figure this out:
I am a Christian. I was born into a Christian home, but took my own decision by the time I was finishing secondary school to make God, the Father of Jesus Christ, my spiritual Father. All through university I succeeded in keeping myself, so, by the time I graduated I was still a virgin, even all through my NYSC. I got a job, and by the grace of God, I remained chaste until the unspeakable happened to me.
I met a gentle and loving man in the same church, about five years older than me. We got married after going through the specified courtship and counselling, where I learnt he was also a virgin. I was elated.
We had a beautiful marriage ceremony and took off for Obudu Cattle Ranch. On the first night where I planned to do all that books and the media had thrown at me and I resisted, I awaited my husband, but he said he was too tired to do anything.
With the ceremony and the seven hours journey from Abuja, I had to agree with him. But on the second and third nights when he used prayers as excuses, I became a newly-wed grumbler.
By the fifth day, I could no longer bear and understand what was wrong. On the 7th day, I broke down in tears. By the 9th day, I was shocked when my husband confessed his impotence, and was trying to swear me to secrecy.
With the benefit of hindsight, I now recall that all through our months of courtship, my husband never made sexual overtures, not even a hint of it.
Now I know why, though I thought then he was keeping himself holy.
Please help me, Aunty Devaan, what do I do?
Get a divorce there. Any marriage contracted by way of falsehood or coercion can be annulled or dissolved once malicious intent can be proven. Leave him and start anew but keep your eyes open this time around. Sure it’s a lot easier said than done and the emotional pain, shame, time wasted and all these things might weigh you down. The good thing is, nothing lasts forever and time does heal all wounds. You will be fine again dear. I wish you all the best in life.
The sooner you do something the better, else it becomes hard to justify especially in court
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