By Tunde Oni.
As soon as Kehinde left for work, I decided to take his matter to God in prayer. I went on my knees and was lost in prayer for the next four hours.
”Father, defend me in my marriage, cast out every demon that has possessed my husband’s heart”. Proverbs 21:1 says, “The king’s heart is in the hand of the lord, he turns it whichever way. Oh God turn my husband’s heart away from sex and all things of the flesh during these 100 days of fasting, in the name of Jesus.” Towards the end of my prayer, I suddenly got an inspiration from the Holy Spirit on what to do next.
There was no point trying to tell Kenny he could not have sex with me, I only had to use wisdom to avoid it by doing things that will not even get him interested. So, I decided not to have my bath the whole of that day. I knew how much Kenny liked me bathing and all clean. By the time he got home around 7pm that day, I made sure dinner was ready. I could not have been more wrong because another argument ensued as soon as he came in through the door.
”Madam, have you sorted out your issues yet?” he said.
”What issues Kenny? Please come and have your dinner”.
”Did you think I was joking? Did you think not taking your bath will work on me? Or you did you think I will not know you enough to know that not taking your bath is a tactic to avoid sex?”
I was quite shocked and kind of speechless that he immediately realized what my plan was.
”Kenny, please be understanding. I need to consecrate myself to God”. I resorted to begging instead.
”Lola, get it straight, I am not asking you not to fast. What is wrong with having sex between 6 p.m that you break your fast and midnight that the next day starts? That is all I am asking” he tried to negotiate.
”I am sorry Kenny, I don’t believe that is good enough. I am supposed to be consecrated for 100 days. Having sex during that time just makes me feel unclean”. I explained.
”What is unclean about sex between husband and wife, babe? It is totally biblical.”
”See Kenny, you just need to be patient. I have just 85 days left and then we can go back to doing the dirty”.
”Let me tell you something Lola, this is the last time I will have this discussion with you. If you cannot find a way to balance your marriage and fasting, then you just might not have a marriage to come back to after your 100 days”.
”What do you mean by that Kenny? God forbid such confession?” I said immediately.
Kenny left me standing there and went into the room. My surprise was complete later that night when he moved most of his things to the guest room. I was going to beg him but I just later decided it was for the best if he stayed in the guest room for the next 85 days. This was probably God’s way of creating a solution for me. I went on my knees that night and sang in gratitude to God for making a way for me where I thought there was none.
By day 60 of my fasting and prayer, I was officially frustrated. The joy and excitement I got from fasting and prayer had gone. Kenny and I had become total strangers in the house. He had not eaten my food in over 6 weeks and I was officially worried. He had started coming home quite late and we did not even talk any more. Every time I tried to talk to him, he just shut me out. We both went to work and came back and went into separate rooms. I did not even know where to start from. I knew for a fact I had not done anything wrong and was just doing the best for our marriage and I wondered constantly why Kenny was so blinded by unreasonable rage. I wondered where all the promises of not going to bed in anger went.
I finally reached the end of my rope that week when I got a text from him around 8pm saying,
”Don’t wait up for me. I won’t be coming home tonight”.
I could not believe my eyes and I immediately sent him a text saying,
”Where are you? Why won’t you come home?”
His reply made me burst into tears. ”Please ask the Holy Spirit to reveal it to you in prayer”
My marriage is in trouble!