Dear Aunty Devaan,
Good day. I’m a 16 year old girl from Benue State. I finished secondary school and am currently working on getting into university. I am troubled because I just discovered recently that I am adopted. Apparently my “mother” took me in when my birth mother died a few months after giving birth to me. I happened to have overheard this when my mum spoke freely to a friend of hers, not realising I was in the house.
I am utterly confused. Why did she not tell me? Sure she has been a good mum, but I now also see her as an incredible pretender to have successfully hidden this from till now. I have lost respect for her. What do I do?
I feel your pain. No one should have to find out something so distressingly personal purely by chance. However, try to empathize with the woman. You admit she has been a good mum. Perhaps she never told you to ensure you bonded with her. Perhaps family advised her not to tell you. Perhaps she had hoped to tell you when you were a bit older.
Instead of hating her, approach her politely, explain what you heard then try to press for answers. I feel she may have also been afraid of losing you if she told you weren’t directly her child. So you will need to show her that, nothing will ever replace her in your heart. Whatever the story might be, you will never know the full truth till you ask.
I would say, pray for grace, then ask respectfully and gently.
I wish you all the best.
*Devaan can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org