“I love you,” between a man and his maiden

 
Source: Adapted from a Whatsapp message.
A group of husbands (of course, Nigerians were among) gathered at a conference on, “How to live in a loving relationship with your wife”.
The men were asked,
“How many of you love your wife?”
All the men raised their hands.
Then they were asked, “When was the last time you told your wife you loved her?”
Some men answered today, some yesterday, majority did not remember.
The men were then told to take their cell phones and send the following text to their respective wife:
“I love you, sweetheart”.
Then, the men were asked to exchange phones, so each of them can read the other wife’s response to the love message..
Here are some of the replies from 10 of them:
1. Have you impregnated someone again.
2. That was then, not now.
3. You wan borrow money abi?
4. What did you do again? I won’t forgive you this time!
5. Meaning?
6. Is that a new song?
7. Am I dreaming!
8. If you don’t tell me who this message is actually for, you will die today!
9. You this man! I asked you to stop drinking!
10. Abeg, na who be this?
The number three response reminds me of  a story told by a friend about three years ago.
He had taken his wife to a point–and-catch-roast-and-eat-fish joint. As the roasted fish was being washed down with drinks, he leaned over ever so romantically to his wife and whispered some sweet nonsense into her ears. She laughed out loud, and said:
“My husband, I know that any time you take me out on a cool evening and buy me fish and drinks, and you start whispering ever so sweetly, you want to borrow money. So, how much do you want this time?
According to him, in the midst of eating his peppered fish, he flared up and reminded his wife how she always accused him of not being romantic. He said he was really hurt.
A few minutes after he finished the story, I asked, “so, why did you really take her out that night?”
He glared at me for a few seconds, bowed his head, and said, “She was right, I was really preparing the grounds to get a loan.” 
The six of us there exploded into rapturous laughter. The ways of a man and his maiden are truly mysterious, at least to the uninitiated
**NB: We implore the reading men to let us know what they think their wives’ reaction will be to a message like this, other than the regular, “I love you, too.”
The wives can let us know what angry or witty response they will fire or send back. You may wish to use a pseudonym, if you please, in the comments box.
In addition, husbands, what will be your reaction after getting the “I love you” text message from the wife after a long time?
The comments can be sent directly on Whatsapp to this originating number.
Have a lovely weekend.