I was in a dream. A man removes the padlock keeping my gate shut, walked to the main door, opens without as much as a courteous or cautious hesitation; and bang he walked into my sitting room.
I was non-plussed, rattled, shocked, and scared in quick succession. Before I could utter a word, he speaks.
“Oga, I want to see your water bill, we want to be sure you have settled your last bill.”
“What did you say?”I asked like a hissing snake as I shook my head to be sure I was awake or heard correctly.
He repeated the same nonsense.
“And you are?”
“I am from Water Board, and we are…..”
My stentorian, high decibel shout of “geeerrrrout!” shook my house. My wife, children, and dog came running towards me.
Two other men in front of my house rushed into the compound, one other and a woman ran off, as I was to learn later. The man was transfixed, and began to quake. When my dog let out his own bark, the man, his two other colleagues vaporised.
Whether they used my pedestrian gate or jumped over the walls, I cannot quite remember, but as my short-tailed combination of Rotweiler and Caucasian made to go after them, even me regained consciousness, knowing the implication of treating a man without scrotal sacks.
“Hey, come back here!” He returned growling at the lost opportunity.
My wife asked what happened. I explained to her how a total stranger breached my security, walked into the sitting room, without courtesy, to ask for a water bill.
“Thank God you didn’t kill somebody with your shout,” she said as my children exchanged glances with her that seemed to say, ” did he have to shout that loud over that minor infraction.”
I don’t blame them, they cannot fully fathom what it means to be a man protecting his pride. The man was fortunate there was no gun or cutlass handy when he came in.
As I walked to my gate, I saw my neighbours. “What happened,” three of them asked in unison.
When I narrated what took place, anger began to dance in front of my house. One neighbour, notorious for been behind on almost every kind of public utility bill, began grating his teeth. Since I didn’t want anyone using my situation to pursue an agenda, I apologised for the shout, thanking them for their concern, and dismissed them.
Awake from dreamland, as I ruminated over the event, something completely unconnected crossed my mind.
I recalled the days I entered the day without as much a knock on the door of the owner of the day.
I barged in, and yet there was no time He screamed me out of His day. He didn’t even contemplate sending His disobedient one after me. Actually, He protected me as that maker and lover of evil attempted to deal with me for my disrespect to the Father of spirits.
I recall those days when a simple memorised prayer from childhood would, probably, have sufficed.
In fact, the recitation of The Lord’s Prayer, taught by Jesus Christ in Matthew 6: 7-13, and a 2-minute meditation could have been enough. Father, have mercy for those days.
Have you prayed today?
The Intrusive Fellowship